Category Archives: Beach

The Guard Dog

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Good morning Long Beach Island!

At the insistence of the Psycho, I was reminded that the Little Squirt and the Psycho wanted to go for a walk as the sun was coming up on Long Beach Island. In reality it was more like Bad Dog growling “You’re dog wants to go out”, that helped to inspire the moment. I got up in the dark and couldn’t find my glasses, hence I couldn’t see a whole lot. I was only going across the street to the grassy area that has become the crew’s potty stop, so I figured no big deal, I don’t need to see anything important.

With leashes on, I maneuver to the door with Little Squirt in my arms and the Psycho on the steps. As I inched open the door, the Psycho bolted out onto the sidewalk as the entire 30 feet of cord spun out of the reel. As I regained my footing and turned around to close the door, still with Little Squirt in my arms, the Beast hip checks me and leaps onto the pavement just as this elderly LBI (Long Beach Island) beach walker is coming off the sand dune.

I threw Little Squirt back in the RV and ran across the street after the Beast as he was bounding down on LBI Lady with his teeth out, hair up and his battle roar bark on full volume. It doesn’t make it less scary that The Beast drools so he had two big goobers swinging off his face. Did I mention that the sun wasn’t up and that it was dark?  Luckily LBI Lady held her ground and didn’t run, which brought the Beast to a skidding halt, but he continued to bark and jump at her. I’m amazed that she didn’t wet her pants. I would have!

I ran after the Beast, dragging the Psycho behind, I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back to the RV, all the while apologizing profusely to the Brave LBI Lady. When I got back to the RV, Bad Dog had been awakened by the commotion. He was not pleased.  He took the Beast inside and I picked up Little Squirt and the Psycho and tried to do this walk thing again.

As I came out the door of the RV, Brave LBI Lady was walking back to the RV. Again, I started to apologize for the Beast’s outburst.

Me: I’m so sorry that the Beast tried to eat you!
Brave LBI Lady: don’t worry about it, everyone needs a guard dog.
Me: no seriously, I’m really, really, really, sorry!
Brave LBI Lady: I really like your RV, what kind is it?

Me: A Four-Winds…………….. Wait, what?

Now that I think about it, I think that Brave LBI Lady was a homeless LBI Lady, thinking about how close she had just come to owning a new RV.

I think we need to leave soon before the LBI Police come knocking on the door wanting to interview the Beast.

Skunks and Racoons

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Yesterday was a very relaxing day……….. Dog walking, reading, napping, updating clients websites, more napping…you get the picture.

The fishing crew came back empty handed, although Pretty Vegas (aka – Shelly) did catch her very first fish EVER! They said that pickings were slim in their fishing spots but they had fun.

After fishing on the beach in front of the Spray Beach Inn, we decided to have an open house in the Vegas room. Needless to say cigar smoke would not have been appreciated in the room so we moved the open house down to the RV in the parking lot. We put down the awning and set up a table for the food. BTW, this was no redneck tailgate. We were eating fresh fruit, smoked salmon, cheese and crackers, hummus, and spinach dip.  It was the works in a hotel parking lot. AND there was not a single hot dog or Rolling Rock on the premises and we did not pull out the grill.

Whilst enjoying good cigars, good food and good company we noticed a car inching down the street towards us. Great! We were thinking that we were going to get busted for drinking in public, having chairs in the street etc.

As the passenger side window rolled down and this elderly gentleman in a very pristine LBI shirt leaned over, I walked over to his car. I was thinking that if he needed directions, he was looking at the wrong person.

I walked up to his window and said;

Me: hello
Mr LBI Shirt: Do you need a few skunks.
Me: Pardon me sir, did you just say skunks?
Mr LBI Shirt: Yes, you always need skunks when your camping.
Me: Is that what we’re doing?
Mr LBI Shirt: Yes.  You don’t live here and I do.
Me: Then by all means bring on the skunks. Can you bring a few raccoons too?

I’m feeling a bit like we are wearing out our welcome here with the Long Beach Island crowd. I regret that I didn’t introduce myself as Dr. Bad Pup to Mr. LBI Shirt. I wonder if he would have pulled up a chair?

Good morning Spray Beach

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Last night we pulled into Spray Beach at around 10 pm. We took the dogs for a walk to let them stretch their legs. As true to her nature, the psycho broke free and terrorized the parking lot. I was the crazy lady chasing her crazy barking dog in the dark.

After settling in for the night, things went pretty smoothly. The one thing that we figured out quickly is that one of us can’t walk all Three dogs at the same time. This morning at 6:30 Bad Dog and I took the dogs out? Again, the psycho broke loose and headed for the sand dunes. After rounding her up, we tried to go back to sleep. The Beast picked that moment to want to go out again and it’s really stupid to say no to a 150 lbs mastiff when he wants to go out, if you know what I mean. I walked the Beast to the beach only to find out that he hates the sand, and the seagulls, and anything that is not solid ground. In fact, half way through the walk he decided that we were done walking and he just stopped walking and sat down on the sidewalk. Since I’m not strong enough to drag his mastiff ass down the street, we turned and headed back to the RV. As I opened the door, the Psycho bounded out again and headed for the dunes. As much as the Beast hated the sand, the Psycho LOVES the sand, and the seagulls and the water!

I think our first stop of the day is hunting down a toothbrush that I forgot to buy last night. Getting breakfast is next, and then we will hunt down the fishing crew that we came to visit!